Just what you expect from Loupy Lou...
I think I'm gonna make this weekly. Not ENTIRELY weekly, but almost, kind of, nearly, roughly, pretty much weekly. Basically, when I'm bored, I shall waffle on here. You don't have to read it, but you might want to, depending on how the mood takes you.
I hate to dwell on these two subjects (well, ok, no I don't, but let's just say I do) but here goes.
Pixies. And, in a relational manner, my phone calls with Johnny Herbert and Robbie Williams.
We've discussed Pixies in previous Madnesses - you'll remember that these are the very small, invisible, highly overpopulated, major-mood-swing-suffering beings that run the world, if not the universe. Oh no, not the Universe. The Supreme Ruler of the Universe is Fon... yet even she doesn't quite understand what the hell is up with these damn Pixies (or if she does she sure won't explain it all to me...)
Sometimes it's easy to guess what's up with the Pixies. Maybe I accidentally angered them. Maybe I purposefully angered them. Maybe they got new boots (turquoise ones are their favourite). Or maybe they're just psychopathic, schizophrenic loons.
But really - how are we meant to go about our day to day lives when we know the Pixies can just take up a sudden vendetta against you and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.
For instance, all was going well on the weekend starting Friday 22nd November 2002. I was off to Johnny's Charity Karting thing on Sunday, I was gonna meet celebs, I was gonna meet friends, I was gonna have good fun.
Cue the Pixies.
I was wrong. In fact I was gonna be very very sick all day on Saturday. In fact I was gonna be traveling back home on Saturday afternoon. In fact I was gonna be feeling like hell the rest of the weekend.
It became obvious that, once again, the Pixies had pointed at me and said 'her - lets get HER'. But, why? Had I done something wrong?? Not that I know of. I'd been the model humanoid over the past.. oooh... seconds... so, WHY ME?? I know it isn't JUST me they pick on, I know I'm not the worst off person in the world, I know that life's not perfect - but still!! This was my special weekend. I'd been waiting for it since 27th November 2000 (the day after the last karting event!). Why me? Why now? W? H? Y?
Maybe the Pixies picked up on this too. Maybe over Saturday night they gathered together and scolded the Health Pixies. That was a bit too far, they said, we said 'lets get her' not 'lets ruin her whole weekend completely and make her feel really ill and sad'. Maybe these little dudes actually have some compassion. Or maybe it was all part of their plan to really mess with my mind.
Either way, Sunday rolled by and I found the Pixies had totally changed their tune. With a slight prod of a Pixie Stick, Johnny Herbert phoned me to say it was a pity I'd not been able to make it, and to tell me he hoped I got better soon. We said our goodbyes and rang off.
This was good. I loved the Pixies once more. Maybe they just like the whole emotional blackmail to get some love. Maybe they make you feel life stinks first, and then make it go well so that you love them more than you would have done if it had gone well after being merely mediocre. Maybe I don't give them enough credit. Or maybe they really are evil, conniving smegs that just like to watch us suffer. Either way, at this exact point (ie: 2.5 seconds after I'd stopped talking to Johnny) I was all for declaring the day National Pixie Day.
Then they added an extra twist. Maybe they still felt bad for making me get up so many times on Friday night coz I was so ill. Maybe I should stop starting sentences with the word 'maybe'. Maybe.
So the phone rang again. It was Johnny again. "Would you speak to Robbie?" he asked. I agreed in the affirmative. Robbie was a sweetheart, and we had a nice little chat about illness, the karting, and Winny being a big fan. How showbiz is that?! He wished me well and I managed to stop gushing 'thank you' enough for us both to hang up.
Pixies - whoever you are, whatever you are, wherever you are, whatever your motives, whatever your mental state, whatever your footwear - I love you.
But if you smeg up Blair's Panto for me - I'm gonna find you and kill you in your sleep.