Sinella Barmangler was a fearless girl. It was her main problem.

She taught Pushmango Diji to be fearless girl too. She had two main problems, she was fearless, and was easily pushed around.

Wartanga Simpli was totally fearful. It was his main problem too. Wimp.

One fine autumn day, at around about teatime, Sinella, Pushmango and Wartanga went to a zoo.

How much you know about zoos is a mystery to me. Then again, many, many things are. For instance the square root of a hundred and ninety six. Mystery! And how on earth anyone can ever eat brussel sprouts. Mystery! And how to spell 'supercalafragilisticexpialidocious', let alone know what it means!! Mysteries!

However, I'll just presume that you know nothing about zoos, coz you might as well face it – most of us don't know nothin' about nothin' when it comes to most subjects. Agreed? Agreed.

Zoos are interesting places where large, small, and medium sized animals are all kept caged in small, very small, or extremely small cages. And they're not normal household animals that you might find in a household, or indeed in a house, or even a hold. For example one does not visit the zoo to find dogs, cats, budgerigars, herds of wandering wondering wildebeest or one's siblings. No no, one may go to the zoo to observe a zebra, a giraffe, or a flateen – a large group of rhinoceroses - or, if one is especially lucky and optically observant, the rare Small-Spotted Rhinodeer or the even rarer Flastagious Brigadoon Feathered Flingagoner.

A lesser known fact about zoos is that most of the animals are harmless. Signs saying 'do not feed these animals – they may bite, rip to pieces, lightly shred, violently play with or quickly swallow you' help with this illusion of the mind. Nevertheless, most of the zoological reptiles, mammals, amphibians and homo sapiens are pretty much almost definitely totally unlikely to possibly kill, or maybe maim or harm, you. Most of them. There are others, though, that would leap upon yourself with glee and rip your head off without further ado.

It is therefore greatly important for visitors of the zoo to be able to distinguish between the two types of beast – harmless and harmful - and it has been suggested to zoos world-wide that there be a printed list at the back of each zoo's leaflet. Zoo Colleagues have argued that the sense of danger is what entices visitors and that people pay good money to see a pleasant yet gory death of an annoying friend-stroke-relative while on an enjoyable day out to the zoo. Zoo Visitors counter-argue that most of the Zoo Colleagues have no idea what they're talking about, and are often subject to the results of smoking breadsticks and candyfloss while arguing their case. Unfortunately for the uninitiated, there is no judge in this case, and so all the arguing really does no one any good, except for the Flastagious Brigadoon Feathered Flingagoner that thrives upon angry human noise.

Unfortunately, the air breathed out by the Flastagious Brigadoon Feathered Flingagoner has recently been found to be poisonous to all life forms except for Flastagious Brigadoon Feathered Flingagoners and Eskimos. While the Eskimos are happy about this, not many other people are – which causes more arguments, causing more Flingagoners, more happy Eskimos and less of everything else, including fish and stuff which the Eskimos eat – leaving the Eskimos less happy coz they're dying of hunger. Also this means that there's less and less humans to make angry human noises, so the Flingagoners will soon be goners themselves. It's a tough life for all concerned. The humble moose is expected to become extinct by about lunch time tomorrow if this arguing and Flingagoner-breathing continues. Pity.

Anyway, Sinella, Pushmango and Wartanga were at the zoo and were having fun. I'll assume that you know what fun is, but if there is any doubt please contact me and I shall send you the name and address of a good dictionary supplier.

"I like animals," said Sinella as she fearlessly pulled at an elephant's trunk.

"Oh me too, definitely," replied Pushmango as she brushed a lion's mane with a tooth pick and gave it some Ribena to drink.

"Help," whimpered Wartanga from the box in which he was hiding from the scary zebra that was staring at him a couple of hundred feet away.

"Help!!" cried Sinella as she slipped on a banana skin, did a triple looped somersault then landed marvellously on her feet to the applause of many a person, chimpanzee and red apple.

"Hel…..!!!!" was as far as Pushmango got to crying out as the lion woke up and decided that human contact was not it's thing, and it wasn't too fond of Pushmango touching him either. He lifted his mighty head, ate her in one bite, and started to play Patience.

"Mmmmmm… tasty," it was heard to mutter, as it wondered off after it finished it's game.

Wartanga was so scared at hearing the lion talk that he promptly fainted. A large seagull flew overhead and mistook him for a rather bloated, human shaped worm and so guzzled him eagerly. The seagull decided that actually this human shaped worm was actually a human, and he liked the taste of it, and so went off in a human-flesh-eating rabid state, leaving a trail of death, destruction and bad Italian restaurants wherever it went. That, however, is a totally different story.

Sinella, meanwhile, decided to join the circus, but was turned down as she could not land on her feet, let alone repeat her triple loop somersault again. She hid in shame in a previously unheard of peaceful country, Deltraseptic, which was, only minutes later, ironically discovered and declared war on by the Argentineans and bombed by the Deltraseptician Army by mistake at the same time. Sinella was not afraid of the war, but that did not mean that she survived… which she didn't.

The lion, on the other hand, lived a very happy life until it's timely death at a San Hosé supermarket.

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